The information in this article is not intended to be professional, legal, or medical advice.
This weeks tip is about effectively reading sexual signals, testing boundaries, and closing the deal with confidence, when you find yourself at a social gathering playing what I call the "Coincidental Accidental Touching Game" or "CATG" for short.
Here's how the game works. You've been sitting around a table, or on a couch, next to the same girl or boy since you sat down. As the night goes on the laughs become louder, the music faster, and the drinks bigger. Suddenly after recovering from an outburst of laughter the potential lover next to you will land back down in their seat closer to you and touching you, almost as if it happened accidentally, only instead of apologizing and removing their hand off your arm/leg/whatever, they will leave it there, and so will you. To confirm that the game is on, you will subtly return the message by either slightly inching your whole body closer to them or actually moving your arm/leg/whatever closer to them making it easier for them to reach you. If the person in question receives this well by either not moving away or escalating the touching even further, then congratulations, you're playing CATG.
I love playing CATG, it's a lot of fun and can be a very adventurous and risque type of experience that you won't find as often with someone who you've met before. You don't actually even have to have said a word exclusively to this individual before the game started, and you still may not yet for a while. The entire act goes on almost unnoticed by the rest of the party, as if the two of you just happened to coincidentally get sandwiched in the same seat together.
Here's what I want you to understand next about the game. Once your playing it, you've already won. When the girl or boy in question (we'll stick to girl for the remainder of this article since I'm writing from my perspective, but this flirting tactic is completely unisex) engages in CATG with you, she has just told you that she is into you, and you have her permission to continue touching her. Let this be exhilarating for you. Calm your nerves by taking things a little further and finding confidence in the fact that she openly welcomes your curiosity. In my opinion, if you want the evening to end with sex, play the game faster. If you tip toe around the bush so to speak, you might start to portray a lack of confidence. This may be interpreted by you not being completely interested in her, or maybe not being as assertive as she hoped you would be. In my experience (though every rule has it's exceptions), women will decide to initiate CATG, and men will be responsible for escalating it.
So how does one do that? Every time the crowd has a good laugh or people shift around you, make your way closer to her and make your touch more deliberate. If your hand has been on her arm for 5 minutes then intentionally hold it a little firmer. If your hand has been on her arm for 10 minutes then the next time you move, land your hand on her leg. If you've made it this far then you really can't screw it up, so do yourself a favor and have fun. If you're like me, I want my intentions to be crystal clear. The next time the crowd goes wild, land your head next to hers and give her a little nibble on her shoulder. If you've timed this right, she should turn and look at you, crack a smile, and eye-fuck the shit out of you. If you don't have the guts to do this, then simply land your forehead on her shoulder with intention. She should still respond positively to this, but she'll probably keep her cool. You still don't actually have to say anything at this point! You might be talking together, but you don't have to be. This is a touching game, say what you want to say with your head, your hands, and your toes.
If you've made it this far the two of you are going to have sex if you want to. It's important to remember that you don't have to wear a false front or carry any doubt now. You don't even have to have verbal confirmation. The two of you have made an unspoken agreement with one another. All you have to do is enjoy yourself, arrange a ride home, and tell her you'll make sure she gets home in the morning.
I hope this article helps you recognize when you've engaged in CATG, allows you to enjoy it more, and helps you finish with a bang. The steady increase in intimacy throughout the night should provide for better than normal sex, and make for an evening to remember.
- Jon Randles